Book 1
Wealth as a science of thought and action
The Science of Getting Rich
by Wallace D. Wattles
Wealth begins in the mind. SCF studies it to align belief with execution.
Reading ProgressAwaiting Pastor
A Private Fellowship · Est. in Conviction
The Church of theSmoking Chicken Fish
A private fellowship for Conviction.Communication.Community.Accountability.Fellowship.Leadership.Conviction.
Funny on the surface. Serious underneath.
0
Chickenmandments
0
Cannon Books
Daily
Live Church
Lord Fishnu
What is SCF?
Two stories, one congregation.
On the outside: a smoking, scaled, meme-soaked spectacle. On the inside: a quiet engine for becoming a better operator, communicator, and brother.
The Surface
What the timeline sees.
- A meme
- A parody religion
- Internet absurdism
- Crypto humor
Beneath the Surface
What we are actually building.
- Leadership incubator
- Public speaking practice
- Self-improvement culture
- Community accountability
- Long-term conviction
The meme is the gateway. The discipline is the destination.
The Path of the Pastor
Seven steps from Listener to Elder.
Progression is earned, not bought. Each level is a deliberate practice with a measurable pursuit before the next step opens.
Level 1
Listener
Sit at the back pew. Receive the doctrine. Absorb before you speak.
Pursuit: Attend three Daily Churches.Level 2
Participant
Lend your voice in scroll discussions and ask the questions that sharpen the room.
Pursuit: Contribute in three live gatherings.Level 3
Speaker
Stand at the lectern. Read the Cannon aloud. Move from listener to lighthouse.
Pursuit: Deliver a five-minute teaching.Level 4
Teacher
Translate the doctrine for newcomers. Walk a brother through his first chapter.
Pursuit: Mentor a new Pastor through Brothtism.Level 5
Leader
Host the gathering. Shape the agenda. Be accountable for the energy of the room.
Pursuit: Host four consecutive Daily Churches.Level 6
Pastor
Carry the title. Speak for the congregation. Defend the Chickenmandments in public.
Pursuit: Author a Scroll the congregation studies.Level 7
Elder
Steward the long arc. Set policy. Hold the line on conviction across cycles.
Pursuit: Recognized by other Elders for service.
Lord Fishnu
The Mythos
Lord Fishnu watches over the patient.
In the abyssal depths between waves and wattles, Lord Fishnu rose — half fish, half rooster, fully on fire. He neither sold the bottom nor bought the top. He simply held, and taught his brothers to do the same.
Lord Fishnu represents conviction, patience, loyalty, abundance through discipline, faith in long-term outcomes, and collective growth.
He smokes a Marlboro Red and waits. So should you.
Conviction
Hold the line when the line costs you.
Patience
Reward in decades; not minutes.
Loyalty
Brother first. Bag second.
Abundance
Born of discipline, not of luck.
Faith
In long-term outcomes you cannot yet see.
Collective
Distribute outward. Rise together.
The Sacred Texts
The Eleven Chickenmandments.
Spoken aloud during Brothtism. Carried in the wallet, the conversation, and the conduct. Tap any verse to study it in depth.
The Cannon
Seven books on the sacred shelf.
Every Pastor reads them. Every Elder teaches from them. Hover any spine to peek at the author.
The Science of Getting Rich
The Greatest Salesman in the World
Think and Grow Rich
The Magic of Thinking Big
How to Win Friends and Influence People
The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership
The Four Agreements
Book 2
Daily scrolls of habit and identity
The Greatest Salesman in the World
by Og Mandino
Our Daily Scrolls are modeled on its ten-scroll discipline.
Reading ProgressAwaiting Pastor
Book 3
Definite purpose and burning desire
Think and Grow Rich
by Napoleon Hill
Conviction is the engine of Brothtism. This book named it.
Reading ProgressAwaiting Pastor
Book 4
Confidence, vision, ambition
The Magic of Thinking Big
by David J. Schwartz
Pastors are required to think in decades, not days.
Reading ProgressAwaiting Pastor
Book 5
Communication, empathy, persuasion
How to Win Friends and Influence People
by Dale Carnegie
Distribute outward begins with how we speak to our brothers.
Reading ProgressAwaiting Pastor
Book 6
Frameworks for leading others
The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership
by John C. Maxwell
The Path of the Pastor inherits Maxwell's architecture of influence.
Reading ProgressAwaiting Pastor
Book 7
Integrity, language, assumptions, effort
The Four Agreements
by Don Miguel Ruiz
Personal accountability is the floor of the congregation.
Reading ProgressAwaiting Pastor
Daily Church
The lights stay on. Every day.
Six recurring gatherings keep the congregation sharp. The pew is open; the lectern is earned.
Cannon Readings
Live recital of the seven books, chapter by chapter.
Scroll Discussions
Brothers debate the Chickenmandments and apply them to the week.
Public Speaking Practice
Open lectern. Five-minute teachings, peer feedback, sharpening of voice.
Leadership Talks
Elders unpack frameworks of influence, conviction, and long-term thinking.
Member Testimony
Pastors share what the Path has changed in their work, family, and finances.
Community Accountability
Public commitments. Quiet receipts. Honest reviews of follow-through.
The Rite of Initiation
Brothtism.
Not a baptism. Not a wash. A spoken commitment between brother, congregation, and Lord Fishnu.
Step 1
Read the Chickenmandments aloud.
Voice them. Hear them in your own mouth. Eleven verses, no skipping.
Step 2
Accept the values of SCF.
Leadership, communication, accountability, fellowship — chosen, not assumed.
Step 3
Become part of the congregation.
You are now a Pastor by title. The Path is yours to walk.
Ready to be brothed?
Brothtism is administered inside the Congregation Portal.
The public cathedral teaches the doctrine. The Portal performs the rite, tracks your covenant, and connects you to the brothers walking with you.
The Council of Pastors
The brothers already in the room.
A snapshot of the congregation. Hover any Pastor to read their story, their favourite Mandment, and the work they've put in.
GRMKDVJMRT+2
7+ active Pastors · multi-cycle congregation
Names are emblematic. Full directory lives inside the Portal.
Inside the Cathedral
The Pastor's Dashboard.
A premium operating surface for your reading, speaking, attendance, contributions, and the brothers around you. Live once you cross the Portal.
Welcome,
Pastor Garrett
47 / 60
Church Attendance
+8 this month
3 / 7
Books Completed
Reading: Maxwell
12
Speaking Milestones
Hosted 2 spaces
21
Contributions
$ + time + mentorship
Today's Scroll
“Patience is the discipline of believing what you cannot yet see. Hold the line one more day.”
— Scroll IV, attributed to Mandino
Upcoming
TONIGHT
9:00 PM
Cannon Reading — Maxwell, Law 5
TUE
8:00 PM
Scroll Discussion — Mandment IX
THU
9:00 PM
Speakers Lectern (open mic)
Tithes & Support
9 brothers
supported this week
72% of weekly covenant
Daily Commitments
- Read one chapter of the Cannon
- Attend Daily Church
- Speak for 3 minutes at the open lectern
- Check in on one brother
From the Pews
What the Pastors actually say.
Unsolicited. Lightly edited. Names changed where requested.
GR
Pastor Garrett
L6 Pastor
“I came for the meme. I stayed for the lectern. SCF gave me a public-speaking habit I couldn't build alone.”
MK
Pastor Mika
L5 Leader
“Reading the Cannon with brothers is the only book club that has ever actually held me accountable.”
DV
Pastor Devon
L7 Elder
“The Chickenmandments are a joke until you realize you've quietly arranged your life around them.”
JM
Pastor Jamie
L4 Teacher
“Brothtism made me say a commitment out loud for the first time in years. The shape of my week changed in a week.”
RT
Pastor Reese
L6 Pastor
“Distribute outward stopped being a slogan and became how I price every conversation I have.”
GR
Pastor Garrett
L6 Pastor
“I came for the meme. I stayed for the lectern. SCF gave me a public-speaking habit I couldn't build alone.”
MK
Pastor Mika
L5 Leader
“Reading the Cannon with brothers is the only book club that has ever actually held me accountable.”
DV
Pastor Devon
L7 Elder
“The Chickenmandments are a joke until you realize you've quietly arranged your life around them.”
JM
Pastor Jamie
L4 Teacher
“Brothtism made me say a commitment out loud for the first time in years. The shape of my week changed in a week.”
RT
Pastor Reese
L6 Pastor
“Distribute outward stopped being a slogan and became how I price every conversation I have.”
AS
Pastor Avery
L5 Leader
“Daily Church is the most reliable hour of my week. My team noticed before I did.”
KO
Pastor Kai
L5 Leader
“I expected larping. I found a leadership program with great copy and better accountability.”
LV
Pastor Lev
L4 Teacher
“The Cannon is curated like a startup ops manual. I've never gotten more leverage out of seven old books.”
SO
Pastor Sage
L5 Leader
“Every Holder a Pastor is the most accountability I've ever signed up for. It's also why I haven't quit.”
NQ
Pastor Nico
L4 Teacher
“Funny on the surface, serious underneath was an understatement. This place changed how I run my own team.”
AS
Pastor Avery
L5 Leader
“Daily Church is the most reliable hour of my week. My team noticed before I did.”
KO
Pastor Kai
L5 Leader
“I expected larping. I found a leadership program with great copy and better accountability.”
LV
Pastor Lev
L4 Teacher
“The Cannon is curated like a startup ops manual. I've never gotten more leverage out of seven old books.”
SO
Pastor Sage
L5 Leader
“Every Holder a Pastor is the most accountability I've ever signed up for. It's also why I haven't quit.”
NQ
Pastor Nico
L4 Teacher
“Funny on the surface, serious underneath was an understatement. This place changed how I run my own team.”
The Apostolic Standing
Every Holder aPastor.
Join a private community built on conviction, contribution, communication, and fellowship.
Membership · Brothtism · Pastor Track